Dec 10, 2012

A year older

Is it just me, or is December flying by? I rang in a new age on Saturday; for some reason, I feel great the days leading up to my birthday but my birthday itself is always, without fail, a roller coaster of emotions. To be honest, I can't remember the last birthday that didn't end in tears. Maybe it's just a day where reflecting on the year and feeling insecure about the next is naturally magnified. (Hopefully? Please tell me I'm not crazy.) It has been brought to my attention quite a bit recently that my online life, as portrayed via Twitter, Instagram, and my blog, looks pretty hunky-dory. And I know most of you know that isn't true at all, and that I've occasionally let slip my insecurities on my blog in the past. Trust me, there are MANY more that live in my head.

I'm not going to ignore the fact that I've been really, really lucky this past year. I've had amazing travels and equally amazing eats along the way. I get to pursue a job that I am passionate about and very much challenged by. I have supportive parents, friends and boyfriend. For all that, I'm extremely grateful. So why, for the love of god, do I feel so shitty on my birthday? I start to stress about things that are useless to stress over. For whatever reason, rational Alice goes in hiding on that day. For now, I'm glad that day is over. I've got too much to accomplish before the year is over to waste time being stressed and upset. Let me get off before I run my mouth and write something I'll regret later. ;)



Was the fog not ridiculous today?

26 comments :

  1. aw Alice!

    there's a quote floating around the webs that goes something like "don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel"

    You are so talented and you've come so far from when I first started following your work on flickr! My birthday is coming up next month and I sometimes freak out because I feel like I know so many people who are around the same age as me that are so much more successful than I am (one of these people is you!)

    You are so amazingly talented and I hope you feel better! (I also hope to meet you soon!) Have a great day Alice!

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    1. Annie! I would say likewise - how far we have both come from our flickr days lol. You've definitely got an amazing and bright future ahead of you. Thanks for the kind words always.

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  2. Nah, you are perfectly normal! Haha! Time just goes by so fast so we inevitably feel like we are always behind. I know no matter how good things are or how much I've accomplished, I wonder if I could have been better and done more. I hate the idea of living with regret.

    Happy birthday Alice! Can't wait to see what this new year brings for you...

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  3. I landed early this morning in that fog :P

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  4. we had quite some fog in florida as well. i sort of love it. i'm celebrating my 30th birthday next week and to be honest, i don't think about it too much. if i start, then there are bound to be some sad and insecure thoughts, so i just won't. happy belated birthday and enjoy every minute in your new age!

    leyla.

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  5. My birthday is in 10 days.. and I totally feel the same way always! So don't worry it isn't just you :) Happy belated – and congrats on your many successes this year and cheers to many more in the new year!

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  6. Unfortunately it can get a bit worse each year, esp when you hit your 30s, then close to 40s (that's me! I still think I'm 20-something - oh gosh the denial!). But we are resilient and you'll bounce back every time being thankful for being wiser each year. Then you reach a certain point where you start to forget how old you are and you're just glad that you still have your health :p Happy birthday and I hope this coming year is even more amazing than last year!

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  7. i love this post.
    and i think you are awesome.

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  8. happy belated! the fog here in MA is crazy too - i have a feeling it's going to get SUPER COLD. grr.

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  9. my birthday is on the 12th (12/12/12, baby!) and i haven't felt the same way i have in recent years. i mean, yeah i'm only turning 16, but i feel like i'm growing up. it's a funny feeling, and i don't know if i want to or not. i think i want to be peter pan, or at least be really short, that way i can at least still get bumpers for bowling. :P

    we rarely get fog here in texas (or my region, anyway), but when we do, it sends a bit of a magical aura. it's... enchanting. i like it. i'm sure the people who actually have to get up and go to work everyday don't, but i do.

    but anyways, happy belated, dear :)

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  10. Alice...as you already know, this too shall pass. I am sure I'm not the only one who can relate to you! Feel better. You're young, beautiful, and extremely talented. Any those aren't just adjectives. Sure wish you would have come out and celebrated the launch of Lillie Magazine with us tonight. I had treats waiting for you :)
    xoxo

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  11. love reading your posts...as always..



    xoxo Wengie
    www.wengie.com

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  12. Awe hon your not the only one believe me. Birthdays are great when it comes to gifts however the day itself is just a reminder how old I am getting. Birthdays aren't what they use to be that's for sure. Chin up butter cup! Love your blog by the way.

    XX-Myrna

    mybeatboutique.blogspot.com

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  13. Birthdays definitely magnify the insecurities. Could be the year added. Could be the wine. Nevertheless, we all go through it. I certainly do.

    I hope that you had a happy birthday, despite it all.

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  15. Happy Birthday Alice, may the next year of your life be even better than the last :)

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  16. Happiest Be-lated Birthday.
    It's natural, I think.
    I used to say every Birthday "Can't wait till my next birthday!"
    That ended last year.
    There is something so bitterly sweet about a new birthday. I get this way about welcoming a New Year.

    Love,
    Manda from Eat Cake

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  17. well, you're only human ;) and the day you stop reflecting on your life is the day you stop growing. keep at it <3

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  18. Happy Belated Birthday and thanks the lovely NYC photo, love it!

    http://howtobeinnyc.blogspot.com/

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  19. Well, happy belated birthday - even if you feel shitty.

    www.blogcurator.blogspot.com

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  20. Happy belated birthday, Alice! I always think we're are WORST critic. On one hand, it's good to strive for bigger and better but on the other, it's hard to rein in the insecurities. You've accomplished incredible feats. I mean just look at your instagram numbers. I'm just in awe. I'm always inspired by your photos. It's the one place I keep going back again and again if I need a nice kick in the rear end to improve my photography skills.

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  21. you are not crazy and happy belated birthday! :-)

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  22. Happy Birthday Alice. It's good to read an honest, reflective blog post. It's interesting the online version of life compared to the real thing- I mean it can't be the same. But thank you for your beautiful images.

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  23. a super belated happy birthday, Alice! I hope the new year is amazing for you. :)

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  24. I cry every year on my birthday too. I'm not alone!

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